Is This Love?

The day I met you

I knew I was in love

I felt as if God had taken the weight off my shoulders

and took it to the above

And we both know

You drink too much

But its okay

Because I love you

And we both know 

That you hit me when you drink

But its okay

Because I love you

And I deserve

Anything you give to me

And surely we both know

that I'm everything

Every single one

of my names

At the store 

I'm beautiful

At my parents

I'm amazing

At that hotel

I'm sexy

But at home

I'm ugly

I'm disgusting

I don't deserve you

But It's okay

Because you're right

You're always right.

Except

Remember that time

We went to John's party

You got so upset

And you pushed me

Just a simple push

No big deal

Nothing new

But you should've seen everyone's faces

Why?

Why is it so strange?

I deserve it don't I?

Don't I?

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

You're making me question my sight.

Sometimes you make me want to

Leave this world behind

Or maybe

You make me want to

Leave you behind

I could

Could I?

I could

I can.

I will leave you tomorrow

And I will love myself

I will cry for days

I will binge eat ice cream

And watch TV

And not leave the house until I run out of food

But after it all

I will feel amazing

Because I am

I am a goddamn amazing woman

And I can do what I want

I don't need you 

To tell me I'm ugly

I need me

To tell me I'm beautiful

And I will learn

How to love

Someone who loves me

And not just their self.