Love

November 22, 2017

Dear Love,

I've heard a lot about you.

They say that you're a beauty, a passion, an illusion.

Simply the meaning behind all things.

They say you're like an addiction for someone's medication and you seem to heal those from pain.

Or a halo of lust, casting your potions onto strangers.  

But there's something else about you that you that not a lot of young ones know.

You lie.

For so many times you lied about words you once promised, the feelings you concealed, and the company you spent with me.

You betrayed me.

You say you could bring happiness, but all you've brought was the pain, loneliness and fear that now scurries through my life.

What are you exactly?

Why do you conceal yourself behind so many faces?

I need to know,

I need to understand you,

I want to understand up you.

We were friend's once you know, growing you taught me many things from many lessons.

Yet, somehow you faded away.

I tried to reach out to you again, but you weren't the same.

You blind us from our vision to see the truth, you grew pain in our gardens when all was lost,

so I built a wall and I tried ignoring you, but you kept finding your way through.

You took away everything I loved.

Everything I had feelings for had either been stolen and lost along the way.

Before everything, you said you'll help me endure the burdens that now weigh over my shoulders.

So where are you now?

For as long as I could remember I've been missing you and the feelings you once shared: to be loved, to give love, and to know love.

For too long on what I thought was love,

what I thought was you, wasn't you.

You weren't the love I remembered.

Your love now is found in my pain,

reminding me of the memories of the good and bad that we once shared.

I can’t seem to find you, but  I need you, I miss you,

and I want to feel what it was like to be alive again.

Sincerely,

PAUL PAO ZE XIONG