Love

I was afraid to fall in Love

Why?

Because Love starts with

Smiles and butterflies

A dozen roses and heartfelt goodbyes

Kisses and hugs and holding hands

Late nights making future plans

That special someone constantly in your head

Rolling around in your thoughts until you go to bed

Weeks pass by

They’ve stopped calling everyday and you wonder why

Months pass by

You feel like they’re making up excuses, telling you lies

You feel helpless, trapped, do they really want you?

If this relationship ends, what are you gonna do?

You try to be perfect, fit into a mold

But this act of yours gets very old

It’s tiring to act happy and cheery

But anything for the one you love so dearly

You endure the pain of your mistakes

If you try to leave now, would it be too late?

Every punch, every insult, every kick

What ever made them so sick

You try your best

Everyday with them feels like a test

But you can’t leave, you can’t go

“I’m so sorry”, “It won’t happen again”, “I know”

“I didn’t mean to”, “I don’t know what got into me”

You think how could someone you Love be this mean

You think this is a trial to prove your Love for them

A way to see if you’re loyal until the end

Just get through today, get through tomorrow

But all you feel when you come home is sorrow

Why aren’t you good enough?

Looking in the mirror becomes really tough

Those scratches, those bruises, that scar by your eye

All the makeup you put on, keeps their lies

Covering them up, brushing them over, setting them all in with your tears

You’ve been with them for two years

You distance yourself from friends and family

Unable to accept your terrible reality

Every day like clock work

Wake up, job, come home, keep losing your perk

You thought they were perfect, everything you wanted

But everyday you feel haunted

By your old life, your old home, the way you used to be

How come that person is so hard to see?

Had you changed that much?

Surely you had just lost your touch

Your grip losing strength

Finally letting go of a rope of an impossible length

Losing all what was left of you

You had thought that love started with smiles and butterflies

But it really started with manipulation and sugar coated white lies

Late nights dreaming of stuff that would never be

Roses to apologize,

Goodbyes to make sure they were what brought light to your eyes

None of those were signs of affection

You had fallen so easily into their trap of deception

Love starts with a hello

And someone who cares to know

Someone who remembers the weird things

Like the way they know you jump when the phone rings

Like the way they know you love strawberries and hate icing

The way they know you sing while you shower

The way they know that you don’t really like flowers

Suddenly Love wasn’t as dangerous or heartbreaking

Love was something wonderful and appealing

Love was never supposed to be an ever growing fear

When I found a love like that, I was no longer scared