Love and the Lack Thereof

Do you know what it is like to feel empty yet full at the same time?

Know that you're blessed with life and love of others yet neglect your own

Look in the mirror, can't you see? 

You're pretty but in this angle you're ugly

These acne scars are the remains of the pain

that came with the stains of insecurity

that even after a good day still remain

Trying to mask this lack of love with laughter

Hoping no one notices the emptiness in my words 

Or the sadness that I feel creeping out of me

Spilling onto the pages i've written, pages so damaged

Words bleeding

Turned the page but still unable to see the next chapter

How is it that my body

starving from all the love ive been forgetting to feed it

is still capable of loving so strongly?

Do you know what it feels like

to see your mother smile 

but witness the longing for real love leak out of the cracks of her broken heart?

Or hearing her screams that try to summon happiness

behind a set of lips that were sewn shut by her own two hands to protect my ears

As she ends the phone call with the man who doesn't even ask her how her day was

Let alone tug at the strings of her soul

Sending her warmth from his being to hers

to melt the glaciers that became her feelings 

so that her heart could sing freely

doesn't know what it feels like to be loved genuinely.