As I think of you for what seems like the millionth time, I feel the spark of my youth come back. It takes me back to the first time I ever smoke a joint. How wrong I felt but at the same time so free. The world was my oyster and all i had to do is take it.

I remember seeing you for the first time. I walked into a class room full of faces I didn't recognize and didn't care to. I sat in the back of the class that day only to find myself sitting across the room from gorgeous young woman. You had that leather jacket that you wore so much. Dark red lipstick and combat boots. You were a dream come true. 

The first time I saw your smile my heart melted. I felt the adrenaline rush through my body like a train speeding toward its own demise. My heart was beating so hard, I thought it was gonna come out of my chest. I was drowning in a whirlpool of dopamine and I didn't realize it.

I some how got the courage to get your number. By this time I was full on drowning, no turning back. I began the deepest dive of my life but it never felt that way. Cuz you see when you're drowning, you have this odd feeling like your flying. I was so high on love and lust that i didn't realize how far down I was, let alone that I was out of oxygen.

Then you left. No trace or tremor of you ever to be found. I began falling in my mind, except I was already at the bottom.