Love Hurts

I love you like I love getting blood drawn – You sting and cause pain, followed by slowly sucking the life right out of me. I love you like I love homework – You’re pointless, take up my precious time, and hurt me more than you help me. I love you like I love jalapeños – You make my heart burn. I love you like I love tornadoes – You create mass chaos in my life. I love you like I love sugarless sugar cookies – You’re a hypocrite in everything you do. I love you like I love mosquitoes – You swarmed into my life only to suck it out of me. I love you like I love spiders – You’re repulsive to look at and fatal when angry. I love you like I love stringslap – You hurt me even when I try to protect myself from you. I love you like I love a broken record – You constantly say the same stupid things and annoy me. I love you like I love a splinter – You get under my skin and fester. I love you like I love pollen and dander – You aggravate me and bring me to tears. I love you like I love quicksand – You pull me in and I can’t get out. I love you like I love old shoes – You provide no support. I love you like I love blisters – When you pop, your anger and hatred flow everywhere. I love you like I love a dead zone – You don’t give me the response I need.