Love Never Felt So Good

They told me that love was a high school relationship with roses and happiness and prom kings and queens 

They did not tell me that gripping the same person for four years would wear my fingernails down to blood and bone

They told me that loving him would improve my life and all my firends would joke around with him and get along

They did not tell me that my friends would have to stay up until 4 am talking me out of suicide and into leaving him

They told me I'd wrap myself in all of the "I love you's" hed always want to tell me 

They did not tell me that I'd be crying and lying to him because i wanted o scream until my lungs hurt , 

"No! This isnt how i deserve to be treated!" but instead i just whispered " I love you too" 

I started replacing the word abuse with love in my sentences and you were proud of me for it

Years later I have learned the truth about your anger . I was always good to you. But you were never good to me .

Years later I have come to learn the difference between abuse and love 

Years later I have come to reflect on all the ways I loved you more than you deserved 

Years later the ghost of the man that broke down my walls in all the wrong ways 

is no longer in my life 

I loved you more than you deserved.

Now, I am loving myself instead . 

And love never felt so good.