Love or Lust

My mind won't stop racing, You're talking but I don't hear what you're saying. Each time I think of you I get sick to my stomach, The memories start flowing in and I just sort of plummet. I remember the way we laughed the way my eyes lit up when I saw you, My heart beating fast as I searched the crowd to find you. The way we cried when you thought you raped me, Not understanding that my submission was letting you take me. Remembering your voice the morning on Mother's day, As you broke my heart in pieces this is what you said. "I Can't be with you anymore I hope you find someone better, Now I'm screaming these words as a response in a letter. How dare you walk away from me exposing your true self, Jumping in to something new not considering how I felt. How dare you fix your mouth to say this is why I can't stand you. When I stripped myself of the true me to be something of use. Something you'd love more I thought this was forever boy, You live your life full of joy. Not considering the nights I cried why me?, As I poured out my soul into my diary. Walking around like everything was fine, Knowing that it was only a matter of time. I'd see you again and be forced to remember, The last sweet moments that have quickly turned so bitter. Every day wasn't perfect but I tried the only way I knew how, I just lost it all when I lost My aunt like wow! Another failed relationship another one bites the dust, Now I'm contemplating was it love or just lust?