Love.. What is love? I

Love.. What is love? I asked myself that over and over again. Love is the intense feeling of deep affection. I met this boy in high school but I still wasn't allowed to date because of  my parent protection. The years of being isolated, you told me you loved me and wanted me to get emancipated. Weeks after, I wanted little ice cream dates and car rides which soon turned into our usual. During the months, it got boring quick and you thought something new for us so we both called in home sick. I never understood what made your lips on my neck feel such an intimate affair then you were suddenly outlining my black lace underwear. Well the next day, you didn't send that 'good morning' text or the daily snapchat with your cute little face.  I thought I did something wrong so I ended up giving you space. Time was passing by and you left me wondering if I was good enough. The day was coming to an end and I still haven't heard from you. My anxiety shot though the roof and all I could think of was you were just another guy who wanted to screw. All these memories and good times went down the drain because I couldn't keep you happy like that girl you snuck around with and left me in so much pain. I questioned you and you left me on seen. It broke my heart to see you in school with a smile on your face while I still worried about that night. Days went by and the girls  told me what they overheard in your conversation. You told your boys I was wack and seemed too uptight so I had to think of a situation. I wasted my breathe confronting you in the hallway that day but all you did was just walk way. You knew what you did was wrong so you apologized. I took you back within a blink of an eye. This time it was different, you treated me worse than before and always made me cry. You made everything out to be my fault and I said sorry more than I kept count. As I stare at this blank wall, I was waiting for a missed call and wondering why I didn't leave it alone at all. This taught me more than just love, it gave me a shove in life to look beyond and above. To also push deeper and wait longer for the right guy. You ended up messaging me one last time but I didn't have to courage to reply. I want to say thank you for being a lesson in my life. Thank you for breaking me..I thought then that my only friend was this razor sharp knife.