Love You So

I love you

But how can I love

The thing

That's killing me

Slowly but softly

So sweetly

You broke me

You ruined me

How did you build me this high

Without breaking once

How did you make me believe

With such ease

How did you weave

Such a beautiful lie

And how did you not even blink an eye

I don't want to know

I with I could erase my memory

I wish

I could feel not a damn thing

I wish I wasn't so ashamed

For loving you so much

Still

Even against my will

Even as you kill

The last piece of me

The best I could do

All I gave you

Is it worth it

Was I worth every single time

Every false moment

Every pretty lie

And did you intend

To break and bend

Me so far

So deep

If she loves you

The way I do

I don't want to know

If she needs you

As badly as I do now

I don't need to hear it

If she says your name

How I did

If she is your future

Then don't remind me

How past tense I've fallen

If she

Is everything

I wasn't 

Tell me

After the wake

Of this mistake

Of this heart break

Isn't suffocating me

Because 

Nothing you could say or do

Could kill me 

The way you already have

You have me

Down on my knees

You have me

Begging and pleading

To the sky

You have me asking why

Every single night

You have me running

And you have me breaking down

And the pain

Is startling to me

Because 

I love you

And you broke me

But even as you let go

I still love you so