love/hate

It's reaching morning and I haven't slept at all
There's a mirage of you stalking in the hall
You're a million miles away yet you hold me in one place
You undo the threads then hand me all your weight
I am open, gushing, and shamelessly bruised
Yet somehow you have remained my muse
And I'm turning in circles, wanting to discover you
In something, somewhere, you'll be.

I cannot move, I cannot breathe, and I swear
My heart has stopped beating in the right way
You're so gone, yet I can't force you away
You left a hole, an anger, and a shame
Yet you can't be replaced.