Loving you

If I’m honest with myself I really miss our late night talks. The way you called me babygirl and all your other nonsense nicknames. The way your hand seemed to fit perfectly in mine. The way you held me so close when I needed you the most. 

But I promise you that I never want you back. I never want the feeling of not being good enough. I never want to hear the hateful undertone of your compliments. The accusations of being the reason why you’re sad. I never want the guilt that comes with being the reason why you’re living.

Because I’ve realized that you can miss something and not want it back. Because though I miss the good parts of our relationship,, the bad are always all I think about. Because with your love came more hate than I could ever handle.