"Mad" (overcoming fear scholarship)

I'm mad as hell.

I'm mad because fear is trying to kill me.

My fear(s) of anything and everything has consistently been trying to kill me.

I'm mad because fear just grabbed me by the throat, shook me and left bruises on my neck.

I'm mad because I keep going back for more.

I find comfort in it because it allows me to be the victim.

I'm mad as hell because none of this makes any sense.

I am a victim.

I was a victim.

I'm content.

Not because fear is gone, but because now I know how to tell it to get lost for a while.

I'm content because now I can hang out with my friends without asking my loving fear.

I'm content because now I can roam the earth alone without fears hand gripping my wrist to maintain control over me.

I no longer have to worry about teary eyes and stinging slaps inflicted by my truest love... fear.

I haven't gotten over i- him, but I am learning.

I guess I am content... for now.