Make It Stop

Life,

Make it stop.

Make my heart stop fluttering every time he smiles.

Make my stomach stop lurching to always be near him.

Make my thoughts, feelings, and dreams build a barbed fence to keep his voice from piercing my chest

He’s not mine and never will be so hurt break me.

Break my hopes so I never have to imagine listening to the music of his heartbeat.

Break my lungs so I can never fill them with his chilling scent.

Break every bone in my body so I can’t focus on the dreading pain of knowing that he will never get the same wild butterflies I haven’t quite tamed yet.

But I can’t. 

I can’t fade the thought of a crisp fall night in his favorite hoodie. 

I can’t dull the image of his perfectly swee smile.

I can’t smother the sound of his contagious laughter.

So please.

Make it stop.