Makeup

Do i have makeup on? Can you not see the tears? The pain i want to hide so dearly The pain i had through the years Im confused and i don’t know why I can’t be myself but i don’t wanna hide I wanna be myself and be ambitious, loud, and, fun But i don’t want you to be scared and run Do i secretly bore you? Am i not enough Do i have to be like you? For you to see me for who i am? I stare into the mirror, but I don't see me, Just the careful armor I put on for thee. Is the mascara thick enough to hide the tracks? Do you really not notice the hollow space it masks? You ask about my day, about the plans I have in store, But never about the person knocking at my door. The one who longs to shatter the curated, quiet grace, To scream the truth of the lonely, fractured space. I'm trying to be the light, the person you desire, The one who never sinks beneath the constant fire. I want to laugh too loud, be clumsy, take up room, But I fear the sudden darkness, the inevitable gloom. If I show you the real girl, the one who's always stressed, Will you finally see the "not enough" etched deep into my chest? Do I have to wear this mask until the day I break? Or can you love the wreckage for the shattered person's sake?