Mama

Love is

drying my tears,

soothing my fears,

taking care of me thorough the years.

Love is

working 3 jobs just to pay the bills,

studying every night and Zoloft pills,

doing what you had to do to get me over that hill.

Love is 

a single mother raising her child,

a single mother hiding her pain behind her smile,

a single mother hardening with every mile.

Because mama, you changed. This world broke you.

You cried when you thought I wouldn't see you. 

Over stale cheerios and unpaid bills,

your heart got hard.

You wanted to make your baby girl so hard she wouldn't hurt like you did.

I understand why you did it mama.

And I love you for it.

You wanted to give me the chance you never had.

But mama,

Love isn't 

The screaming and smashing things against the wall,

i'm trying.

Love isn't

fearing footsteps down the hall,

i'm crying.

Love isn't 

the words sharp as a knife in my heart,

i'm dying.

Love isn't

faking a smile and playing my "perfect" part,

i'm lying.

But even when I don't think you love me...

I love you for what you've done for me, and what you'll do. 

You say you'll change but

the manipulation, the pain, the heartbreak, nothing is new,

You aren't perfect but

I love you.