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Free Verse

The man I once looked up to has failed me


A universal donor who couldn’t save me

His blood flows through my veins

Giving life to my body.

 

Held my hand and led the way

To leave me feeling astray 

Cosseted me, loved me, failed me

All the same.

 

“میں تم سے پیار کرتا ہوں” became a lie

Inherited my last name, Baluch

Heard stories of the camels we rode

Ancestors who paved the way

The Baluch house already under my name

The ‘legacy’ I must carry

Now considered a burden on my back.

 

From wanting it all to feeling trapped

Once felt joy now soaks my pillowcase at night

The man I once knew no longer lies behind those eyes.

 

Hollowness now stares at me 

His smile no longer one I mimicked

Hate flows through the blood I received from him

The man I once looked up to has failed me.

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Sophiabaluch

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This Poem's Voice

Your Poem's Voice

PersonalThemeAbstract

Deeply personal family trauma; inheritance as metaphor but grounded in autobiographical pain.

SparseMeasureDense

Multiple layered ideas: legacy, betrayal, inherited identity, disillusionment packed densely.

DarkSentimentBright

Strongly negative; grief, hate, disappointment, hollowness dominate throughout.

StillEnergyExplosive

Emotional intensity builds; enjambment and internal turmoil create kinetic tension.

MicroLengthEpic

Approximately 28 lines; falls in 16-30 range.

PlainFigurativeOrnamented

Rich metaphors: blood/inheritance, burden, hollowness; Urdu phrase; ancestral imagery.

LyricVoiceDramatic

Pure lyric internal monologue; introspective voice examining personal emotional landscape.

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