Some say it is impossible to try to take on the powers of God. Some say it's wrong. Some say just bow without question. Are you the part of the some?There is are war going on between my spirit and my flesh. There is a war going on between my past and what happens next. All this fighting and only one can win. He accepts question at some point in time only to prove that he is always 10 steps ahead.This is a man who hung,died and bled with 2 fish over 500,000 were fed... Now have you ever met anyone able to do that? Trying to challenge him is seen as disrespect but in my case I was hanging on to that 7 year old girl crying out for help;just for a bit of deliverance. Felt like life wasn't worth living so why not just end it. Saying I was done but still in the same breath calling out to you. Walking eyes closed head bowed in the middle of busy traffic just to prove that you'd leave me.Doing everything I was big and bad enough to do just to prove that your grace wasn't as forgiving as it's stated. On my death bed or what was supposed to be I was awakened by darkness thinkingI was in my box in hell only to realize it was in the middle of the night and my lights were turned off. Tried to fight the feeling of wanting you,needing you ,loving because in my mind you weren't there.You were and will always be there I just wasn't strong enough to understand how a person like you could stick with a person like me. Preparing to take my last breath tears rolling down my fast heart beating fast and slow at the same time with all that was going on I reached out my hand for you. With that I knew I needed more healing than just my hand you touched my soul. Man v. God.... Only one can win and it will always be my GOD!