"Excuse me, is the manager here?
Why?
(You should be able to tell by how I'm dressed but..)
I'm following up on a job application..
Ok thanks.."

Hello, my name is [Your name here]

Now Mr/Mrs Manager, I'm going to be realistic here

Now I'd like you to remove yourself from your Title
You are not a manager, you are a human being
Please recognize that I'm a human being

And I need money, now before you call me avaricious

Think how much time you'd personally volunteer without pay

Devote hours on end without a check smiling at you

I need money, to get it I need a job...so be it

These questions are unrealistic and won't help you know me better

All I need is a well-constructed lie to filter all my answers.

My mom needs help paying for bills, she's unsure we can make rent this month

Skip the formalities, I'm just trying to live

A single mother asking for help through her kids

I'll do all that is required of me in this position

We both know full-well that I'm just playing the "Perfect Employee" rendition

Take a look at my graduation photo, you wouldn't be surprised to find that

I'm wearing the same-exact clothes then as I am now

I've plastered on this personality, same with my diction

You've been in this position long enough to know this smile is damn close to fiction

You must be fooling yourself when you ask me "would you make this your career?"

No thanks, I have goals, how much experience do I need exactly for an entry-level position?

"...you'll call me back? OK thanks."