Man's Steps

Location

my room
United States






 

 

 

 





 

Frozen granite sill
Walking paths lined with new ice
Look down at green gates

 

Spaces filled by hands--
Muted lights wake weary dead
Flirting with good men

 

Silhouette the mount
Shrouding breaths of winter heat
East of each brick room

 

Trees clothed in white robes
Carry what they never said, 
Breathe transparent air

 

Faint planes of pale gold
Stroke layers of smooth snow, but
Overlook man's steps
Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

marsbars12

This was the fastest I've ever written a poem - less than an hour. Usually it takes days or even weeks, but this time the words came incredibly easily and in vocabulary and form that worked perfectly for the haiku form I was going for. I literally looked out my window and wrote about the normally overlooked things that went on outside in real time, but my favorite part was definitely the last stanza. Until that one, I had no name for the poem and the writing itself seemed to be going nowhere special. With that stanza the poem came to life and became dimensional, with loads more meaning than it had originally. That last line specifically carries all of the meaning for me; that nature, with all of it's seemingly ordinary goings-on is always more beautiful, powerful and lasting, always overshadowing the ultimately insignificant doings of man. Man may be able to use nature and even occasionally manipulate it to suit our needs, but in the end we are no match for it. 

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression! 

Jan Wienen

Issues of the heart ...

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741