Marie Ann

Oh mom tell me how it is up there Are there clouds and sunlight everywhere? Do you walk in streets of gold? In your glorified body that’s never sick or old Do you see animals graze on the grass? Or watch water fall down the mountain pass? Do you really have a room of your own? If so I’m sure you have you blackberry phone Do you snuggle next to me while I sleep? And sing to me softly without a peep Are you my guardian angel from afar? And my watchful passenger in the car I know you come into my worried dreams And silence all my mourning screams I always pretend you’re talking to me Although this odd practice charges my sanity a fee I miss you so much it drives me crazy And my stupid brain makes memories hazy I love it when you give me a sign Like birds watching or leaves softly falling from the pine Pictures I hold dearly to my heart Holding back tears is where acceptance starts If I reached for a hug my arms would stay empty My brain realizes this but my heart stays heavy Oh mom what I wouldn’t give to see you an hour Why oh why am I not granted this power All I need is to soak in you smell Then you can send me back to my earthly cell It is really hard living without you I know you understand what I’m going through I try to push dark thoughts out of mind But the mother of mourning is not so kind Mommy things will never be the same Cystic fibrosis and pneumonia are the ones to blame I need you mommy come back to me! My anger is a veil and I can’t see This agony makes me need to kick scream and punch These feelings I have are just too much Mother o mother what am I supposed to do? Except mourn and cry over you Sometimes I scream “Why God this isn’t fair! Why would you take a mother I would gladly share? Who now will see her smiling face? And watch her walk with that certain grace God I know her body was very tired But her mind was so far from expired No longer can I be soothed by her voice Oh God why did you make this choice?!” Wait, don’t worry mom, I am thankful for your translucent presence I hear your love through the happy chirping of pheasants I feel your happiness in the warm sun rays I appreciate your understanding on hard days I soak in your strength when I feel weak And still your acceptance is what I seek You will always have half of my soul Because you shelter my heart from this cold You enjoy your new life and take in Gods glory And I will tell everyone your magnificent story Your love is not only mine to keep I will share it with everyone while your body sleeps Think of me while you’re strutting along Sing about me like your favorite song I’ll think of you whenever I grab a coke And talk of you and repeat your jokes You could not have been a better mother Even though you were sick, I’d never ask for another This pain is almost a good feeling I bring Because it means I love you more than anything So you enjoy eternal bliss and I won’t cry Because I will be with you in a blink of my eye Meanwhile don’t you dare forget about me Because ill prosper and make you proud, you’ll see I love you so much, my mother, Marie Ann You’ll be in my heart forever love, your daughter, Sam