MASK
Location
MASK
the door shuts behind me
my truth sticks in my throat
here behind my walls i am real,
i am broken,
here behind my walls i struggle with feelings unspoken,
here i don’t pretend
to foe or to friend…
here the mask
comes off. (gesture)
out there i walk with lies in my pockets
i dish them out to all who asks ‘How are you?’
I smile and say ‘i’m good’ (big smile)
…but my heart is breaking - I smile and say ‘i’m fine’
…but inside me it is aching so bad …
out there I am ‘Happy Barbie’
broadly smiling
always beguiling
never crying
ever denying…the truth of my heart
out there my veneer of pretence sticks to me,
it makes me shine like plastic…
i wear my plastic barbie smile
but in here behind my walls i wear my house clothes
my hat of fear
my shoes of shame
my scarf of guilt
my coat of pain
Merciful Adonai,
to You I cry
as peace that passes understanding passes me by
you strip away the veneer
you see beyond the mask
(C) Elizabeth Herr 2016