The Mask behind the Face

Behind my shell hides a raging flood.  For a portion of me will leave those around me stunned.  Behind the dam, rivers and currents of sorrow, pain and anger mix in restlessness.  To reveal the inner, to those on the outer, will leave me friendless again.  Life has taught me that few can withstand the hurricane within.  As I begin to unmask, destruction is wrought, and I find those who care missing, and not able to comprehend as they listen.  I find more comfort in the dark behind my closed eyes, than those that surround me standing in the sunshine.  As I shed the shell, I await the one who stands steadfast in the eye of my personal storm.  Inner emotions quick and true like nature’s scorn, leaves in my wake only those to mourn.  Some view this fake deception as a façade of my soul’s true message.  For those that cannot handle the degree of my denseness, my soul’s message is that of death without affection.  Why give you what you cannot hold?  I will give that to those which can survive my tempest, and do not freeze in its cold.  My true self is a double edged sword, a disease to the weak.  This is why I hide my wounds and never show when I bleed.  Not for myself but for those around, I hold my tongue and make silence my sound.  Consciously I betray your unconscious, to save you and myself from my soul, which burns uncontrollable, never ending, and darker than the unknown.  Matters of the heart break the mind, while matters of the mind confuse the heart.  Where to begin or end, which one reveals the true farce?  While one is devoured in its own lies, the other thrives in empty lives.  Unable to stop one and unable to control the other, I find myself stuck with an emotional stutter.  Both failing me, I am lost in what to trust.  My emotions crumble while my mind turns to dust.  To shut one up, and listen to the other, I find myself wanting like a child does a mother.  The mind sparks the imagination of angels, but left unkept, transforms into the nightmares of demons.  The heart pumping with love scarlet red, inflicted with pain keeping me in a living death.  Afflictions within make a cold heart a warm temptation, while a never ending mind thinks up insanity as salvation.  To feel the pain of both, none, or even one, brings those to the answer of a gun.  Rolling, and coasting on these emotions bring the notion of self-loathing.  Holding on to the fear that the answer may never be knowing.  Look around, and watch as people turn the mind and heart into a hunter, a poacher.  Making me realize the real enemy is my friend, my mother, my father, and even my brother.  I am driven to the edge of a cliff, with no desire to wish, reminded of my destiny as the lonely loner.