May 13th

Wed, 05/21/2014 - 01:19 -- MLY

The first week I was sad.

So very, very, very sad.

I was on the verge of tears the entire week.

I thought “be brave” one minute and “I can’t fucking do this” another.

The second week I was angry.

I was pissed.

I wanted to scream at you, I wanted to hit her, I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me.

But I didn’t, because I knew I couldn’t inflict the same pain on you.

And now, three weeks later, I don’t know how I feel.

A little lost. A little sad. A little angry. A little restless.

Wait. No. You know what this is?

Apathy.

I used to care, I used to care with all my heart and soul.

That’s my thing – I love.

I give my love out to anyone and everyone, but some people I give my everything to – you were one of those people.

But now I feel nothing. I am apathetic.

And you know what the scary thing is?

I don’t know if this is permanent.

If you’ve changed me into this, or if it’s temporary.

But I can’t seem to make myself care, and because of that, I don’t know who I am anymore.

And that’s really frightening.

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