maybe god is pooh bear

1.

dean moriarty

came to me

in a dream

and took

from my

fountain

of youth

while sal

paradise

sat and

watched

my back

heavy

from the

weight

of my

breasts

i stopped

my menses

with pages

from

the portable

beat reader

begging for

inspiration

but the

dead stayed

dead

2.

i saw

the best

minds of

my generation

grow tired

of the capital

and drag

themselves

through the

streets

stark raving

mad

coal blue

lighting

split like

a cantaloupe

scoop

me

out

on national

television

make them

remember

my name

3.

nothing is

true and

everything

is permitted

stop by

at night

i’ll leave

the door

unlocked

and open

you like it

when i

let you

walk right in

and take

what you

believe

to be yours

but then

i remind

you

that you

are here

because

i allow it

and to

never

forget your place

4.  

i first met

my self doubt

not long after

elementary school

ended

i had just

gotten over

a serious illness

that had kept

me home

for 40 days

and 40 nights

awake worshipping

at the altar

practising wicca

and using runes

rolling dice

looking my

cowardice

down the barrel

of my gun

and shooting

it on sight