Maybe She's the Sea

Dear My First Love, 

When I looked at you, I saw beauty.

The kind that I thought no one else could ever possess. 

You had a depth to you that lured me in, 

Your siren song consumed me,

Your secrets, you held them far beneath your crashing waves, 

Yet you seduced me.

When I looked out across your gleaming waters to the rising sun 

I saw a horizon brighten with a future that was not yet in my grasp,

But was one I wanted to retrieve.

When I looked beneath your surface I saw the small things.

I saw the way the fish swam below the waves,

The bubbles the water made when it crashed against the shore.

The way the water ebbed away,

How it always came back,

But never the same way.

Your waters were warm; they beckoned me closer.

Oh, how I could not resist the pull of your existence 

It started with calm waters.

It started with laughter.

It started with the playful splashing of the waves.

It started with me drifting farther, farther from the shore.

Then, the skies turned grey

Though I continued to laugh.

The darkness seeped into the waters

Though I continued to play.

Then the rain began to pour.

Waves crashed. 

Lightning flashed.

Thunder growled behind the clouds. 

I. am. suffocating.

I am suffering. 

I am now drowning in you waters that once comforted me. 

So finally, you set me free.

Motionless, I lay on the shore

Salt seeping into the cuts that cover my body.

I am suffocating.

I am suffering. 

Now, I look back at the sea, battered and broken 

Your vastness no longer enchants me,

Nor do I desire to discover the creatures that lurk below your surface 

I look back at a setting sun 

Though the sight is still beautiful it no longer holds the promise it once held 

Everything has become increasingly dull, increasingly dark. 

Goodbye, I love you.

Yours Truly, 

Teagan