Maybe you're not good at math

Maybe you're not good at math.

Maybe you're not good at science.

Literature

History

Language

Maybe you don’t feel like you’re good at really anything.

But hey so do I.

As I write this

I’m sitting wondering

What the hell I should’ve done different.

“But you have your health.”

But what’s good is my health if I’m just wasting it?

“But you graduated.”

But what good is my diploma if I’m just wasting it?

Be glad you’re not homeless.

But this home I don’t feel I deserve it.

All this I understand.

I understand it all I swear!

I swear I can hear you!

I swear I can take care of everything!

It’s just  so much.

Where’d it all go wrong?

“What are you good at?”

I don’t know.

“How do you pay for college?”

I don’t.

“What are you doing with your life?”

I…

I…

Please just stop!

I need silence!

I’m so far in my head.

You’d suspect I really have it all under control.

But life, it’s like water,

And it’s slipping through my fingers.

No matter what I can’t stop it.

But let me tell you something.

Yes, I’m terrified.

But listen here,

I want you to take all this in

And understand

That I hate myself too.

If you’re listening to this

Then you know what I’m feeling too.

And I’m glad I’m not alone.

Because as soon as I figure this out

I’ll tell you.

And make sure someone’s in your corner to help.