Mayhem, a tribute to Dean Winters (the true legend tbh)

The raccoon lounging in your attic

Acting over dramatic as he

Boasts with a tone that is oh so emphatic.

About how he's torn up your insulation

And headed this infestation.

The blind spot on your car

Not alerting you about risks approaching from afar

When you move to another lane

Your car gets hit and you feel hot pain.

Instead of showing sympathy or regret

Mayhem just laughs at your new medical bills and debt.

The teenage girl driving in a parking lot

And the love triangle in which she was caught.

You see, her BFF Becky had just kissed this boy

But Mayhem hoped that kiss would be their’s to enjoy.

Eyes full of tears and yet they’re still driving

The teen hits parked cars without ever realizing.

All these many forms that Mayhem can take

Enjoying all of your pains and aches

Always ready no matter the person or place

He’s ready to throw some bad luck in your face.

But it is important to remember not to be mad

After all he’s just an actor in some Allstate Insurance ads.