Me

Could I find it in myself to write my heart desire without stumbling upon this fascinations about my than life, why don't I realise my potential but I do to which extend can I pull myself too wards the were I'd love to be, always this panick of pain of past hurt in the evening or in the morning or between the two  I mostly remember it is flattering without me but how do I find me I've seen myself before, but I've gotten to a fountain of memories I do not know how to breath, help I scream from pain help me is anyone out there the Lord that promised a steady mind why is mine astray I'd love to lend within the depth of an understanding why I was born and how could i fulfil my purpose, oh Lord please help this pain is living in me it has grown to be me and I am now facing it, I do not know how to face that which I have no clue for it to not be me anymore