This is Me

I am someone who just wants to escape

To flee the deep, dark depths of my mind

To a place free of dibilitating pain

The kind of pain that grips my throat and suffocates me

I want to be beautiful

To look in a mirror without tears forming

To feel adequit in my own skin

And to not care about the number on the scale

I want to be free

Free from the monster that consumes me

To be without the illness that wants to kill me

The eating disorder that has trapped me for years

I want a hug

To feel loved and cared for

I want to be sure

Certain that man won't hurt anymore little girls the way he hurt me over and over again

I want to smile

To feel genuinely happy

To not ache deep inside when I fake a laugh

I want to write

To expell my feelings on paper

To extract the pain from inside

And to be understood

I want to be heard

For my feelings to matter

And to be noticed

But I know I can't always get what I want

So I am just someone who wants to escape