This is Me

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

This is me.
And I'm sorry that at most times it’s not much to see but it's what I have to give.

A broken gift of healing scars and scattered thoughts.

Of tattered white flags waving in the midst of emotional storms.

With the crashing waves of self-doubt and the confidence slipping through the cracks of my fingers like wet sand.

I guess that's why I'm so afraid of the ocean.  

It's filled with the tears of sharks who have cried a thousand times because they can't stop moving or they'll die.

And I have that problem too.

Constantly moving from one thing to the next because if I stop and think I'll hear the cries from my veins and the voices inside my mind saying "you can help stop the pain"

"Just open up your wrists and everything will be good again".
But they’re lies

They are all lies

The pain can't be stopped from something like that

And I know it’s hard to do but you have to find another way

You have to

Because you were given a priceless gift.

Something you can't make a big enough sacrifice to pay.

But you're lucky that someone already did.

He already payed the price that granted you an eternal life free of pain.

And there’s only one thing that you have to do

You have to let him in.

Into every part of you.

Let His light shine in the dark recesses of your mind.

Because I can promise you it's the most beautiful thing to step out of the darkness.