The me I wear in plain clothes

Hey, You!

Yeah you

I know who you are

You're the big old empty  shell of me that real life and real stuff doesn't mar

You're the face that I take off at night

My double when I am under the bed

You are the one who throws off friends like used socks

I think I'll call you me, if you'll excuse my language,

Cause that's what everyone else calls you

I've seen you flouncing around with my voice in your throat

telling bitter lies and uncrossing your legs when boys pass by

You hiss at my true loves and tell them that I'm fake

You wear my best dress when you go outside

You falter in the face of decisions when I know that I would be a rock

You bat your eyelashes at the sun and shake your nothing head

your scruples are detestable, I detest them myself and share half of them besides

I know you so well that I can't help hate you

I hate you

I hate this

I hate that they can only see you

I hate it when I look in a glass and find myself suddenly trapped on the wrong side of it

I see you sneer and walk away with my face smeared on, a scream chokes me every time

You are the face I put on to be brave when I feel like the world will swallow me

You are the hips I throw into each step when I need a few extra eyes to make me someone

You are the mouth that says what I mean even when it's not what I meant to say

You are the Regina George that lives in my head

and comes out when a comment comes to close

You are the weakness in the Armour of my judgment that makes the world seem hostile

You are the safeguard that protects my soft child's heart

from the things that are only here to make me stronger

You are the splinter that needles in my heart of compassion and makes it numb

You are the bitch face I keep in the jar by the door to scare away any intruders

You are my face when I walk out the door

afraid of everything, fearing nothing

A paradox of insecurity if their ever was one

I hate you but I guess that I'll need you to get along

in a world of canine cannibalism

 

So yeah then.

I know you

in a world that's front to back.

A bitch face

on a kind girl

who's trying to stay unhacked

We're working

together

to get me on my way.

A bitch faced

kind girl

A bitch for life to stay.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741