I can only describe who I am by my perspective

So the light that I shed will likely be expected

To seem dark and grim and down and gray

Though the gray light's as freeing as the white light of day

What better to describe us than daily interactions?

We are reflected in the water through our constant actions.

And by loving someone, I saw that I was more

A romantic who dotes on the one she adores

And by losing that loved one, I finally learned

I cry long and hard for the love lost I'd earned.

When I speak how I think, people shrink in their seats

How can I smile bright from my dismal beliefs?

A Nihilist is what word I've heard the most

That fits me, my life, and the words that I post.

I believe in no being to hear all my prayers

So I pray to myself and my friends, for that's fair.

I believe in no purpose or happiness path

I believe in no karma, no justice, just math.

I believe all my ethics are my own to choose.

I believe that they're things you can gain and can lose.

But I do have my own that I've picked on my own

From the things that I like and the way that I've grown.

Family is not all and it's something you choose

To be built off of love or of blood, both can lose

To me, love is a precious and miraculous thing

That can span from commitment to casual fling.

As for me, I would like to find love I can keep

For the rest of my days and to hold close in sleep

And someone who can love me as deeply as I

Am sure to have fallen if he is my guy.

But I know at this point I'm not ready for it

For I don't love myself, and that's part of the bit.

If I can't love myself then I can't love in turn

Because lovers who hate their ownselves cannot burn

With the passion of love that is sure to burn true

So I'll love me more and know you should love you.

I'm growing. I'm changing, but I'm always me

Just more open and acceptant of what that could mean

I'm smarter than I ever previously thought

But I'm not and an adult, no, that I am not.

I'll work harder yet. I'll have a heart that is strong.

Because I can love others, for short or for long.

Only love, life, and math are my reality

Only happiness, sadness, the square root of three.

We are animals, creatures, beasts, we aren't great

Well we are, because great is something we create.

I believe in nothing except what I like

Because I can trust me and I'm well worth the fight

Of everyday telling me I'm not enough

I say that to myself, but I do want to love

Myself. I will do it. I'm on the right path

I'll do it with tears, sarcasm, a laugh.

I'm positive in all my negative ways

Because I have choices and I define my days.

Though I am not Atlas and can't bear my world

I'll just get some help and enjoy what unfurls.

I is smart, I is kind, I is important

I is/am all that they say I am and more.

I am my thoughts and actions

I am my choices and the choices made for me

I am the rhyme and rhythm

I am the blank verse

I am the changing

I am the changing

I am the ever-changing

I am my choices.