Me (#nofilter)

When love barged in

he came in the form of an ex-navy man with a shaved head,

he approached me at a bonfire.

“Let's talk about your social anxiety,” he said.

his love wrapped around me like a fleece blanket.

thawed the ice from my bones.

Leaving him was stepping out

into the winter.

I was bald until I was 3

my mother sighed with relief when

dark little ringlets

finally

started sprouting from my head.

and then she screamed

when at age 6 she walked in on me

scissors in one hand and clumps of hair in the other.

Awkward, lanky phases.

I made sure my hair always covered half my face,

wore knock-off vans and graphic tees

and though I hated braces,

with every fiber of my being,

I loved having the chance to choose

different colored rubber bands every week.

When everyone got boyfriends,

I thought

I ought to have one too

I found him at a Flushing Raiders football game

Oh, you're a douchey redhead with a backwards hat?

I guess you'll do...

poor choice.

but that's what high school is for, right?

Childhood came and went fast.

summers spent at the Byerly's

dogs barking, the smell of laundry,

barbecues, pillow forts, and fireworks,

watching Signs in the basement.

I remember that ugly black bathtub.

Vaguely. And, Pumpkin, the potbelly pig.

Once, as I slept on the floor,

she walked over and stepped on my ass cheek

and a hoof-shaped bruise remained for days.

I bruised his heart with my fist.