Memoir: A Beginning In Time
I do not want to watch miracles or happy ending because it is inevitable we all will go
In our lifetime it could happen in a moment or a tormented prolonged deathWe do not choose if it hurts or if it is fastI am a Christian,but lord I am afraid Not in the afterlife that awaits, but in leaving my familyI do not want my whole family coming with meMoreover, when I go I do not want to look at my loved ones in painIt is now after a tragic nightmare that I have encountered perhaps a cryptic message that death is upon usI am perplexed to my saddest degree that I am not readyWe are never ready, and I do know thisTherefore, I should feel better knowing I do not have control, thus, I have the control to deliver it upon myself to go with easeHowever, I am not perfect my lord, and I cannot do thisLately I have been contemplating such a horror; I know death is all around meSo is it not inevitable if not me then someone I know?In order to create a homeostasis within your world?Everything is a lesson, yet I know for a fact some lessons I would never passI pride myself on perspective matters to differentiate things of importance, and I have not found a matter in which I cannot spin a frown to a smileBut it is inevitable we are gonna dieHow may one live so spiritually and physically prosperous when we are burdened with such sorrow? I do not want to watch miracles or happy endingsI do not want to be burdened with thinking I will not die when death knocksI will cling to this earth not for my materials that I do fancy, but I fancy the materials that have been placed in my heart I will not want to leave my family oh lordI feel now if I told them I love them everyday it would make a difference only to my heart, but it would not make a difference to theirsTheir hearts are the ones that need to be confined with my love because one day it will need to suffice for them to carry on in this worldI do not want to watch miracles and happy endingsI do not want to burden myself with the feeling of invincibility because you are my lordI need my loved ones to understand, but I know they cannot see the same dreadful nightmare I saw tonightIt gave me truth I know LordTherefore, my lord I ask to share this final piece, so my loved ones know my intentionsThat even if I knew I was going, I was fine with dying to see you my lord; but I was not fine with leaving them behindI do not want a miracle or happy endingThey will only make it harder to leave, so I will finish this in the same fashion I want my life to justend.
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