in memoriam

memories crash through my mind like the waves touching the shore
pale and cold i'm drowning once more
swallowing water until my lungs break
falling asleep just to awake
i remember the night of the stabbing red and vivid
like christmas
mistakes brought to murder
you had eyeliner as black as the night
you asked me how i thought you looked
they were words
i just might have spoken more if i had the chance
perhaps in time we missed our chance
your eyes were blue like the last glimpse of sky
the times i came so close but did not die
i lingered on the thought of you with your fishnet shirt
and when i kissed your forhead as tears streamed down your face as you dwelt on pain
before i entered into your mind dressed as a cold dark idol
i wore a tie and a white dress shirt trying my best to refrain
i was labeled as a possession by a jealous man
who knew that if we had a moment we would have done it if we could
your scars and mine placed by a man gone insane
frail and pale hair of that of a raven
i return to this place often when the waves crash to shore
i try to forget but i linger even more
in wonderings and questions left unanswered
i have a number to fulfill
the memory slips from me like the stomach churn after the pill
i was dazed i remembered a dream in a castle of our own underwater
much to the same as the one i see now
the waves crash to shore making my blood and chest burn i remember what it was like then when i began to dream
i am silent when i scream
do i want to wake up from this?
is there something here i forgot to miss?
no faults no regret
the waves crash and i have paid my debt