Memories

Every song I listen to,

Reminds me of you.

Why is this so challenging for me to do?

Why can’t I get you out of my thoughts?

Always on the run.

Why do you have to haunt me in my dreams?

When in reality, it doesn’t mean a thing.

Why do I still cry silent tears throughout the night and day?

We’ve both fucked up in the past.

This shouldn’t be so hard.

My heart needs a permanent cast.

My guardian angel played the wrong card.

On the cold hard floor I lay.

Only if you had stayed.

Now you are upset and mad.

I don’t blame you.

But I cannot tame the beast inside.

Struggling for so long.

Against so many fucking odds.

And all this time,

Cuddling with my demons.

Getting to know each of them.

Personally.

But that doesn’t define who I am.

So much time has past.

But still feels as though it has just begun.

The downward spiral,

That seems to never end.

I am completely done.

Only one has the power to mend.

The broken and shattered heart within.

Only to be showered with bitter words.

You all know that I am no quitter.

All my demons,

flutter around inside,

Like hellish little birds.

And now all I have to do,

is mutter useless words.

That will never be heard.