Memories

I wander around an empty house filled with memories

I can remember when I was two

A vague woman kicked my brother down the stairs

Yet, I can’t find my phone or keys half of the time

When I retrace my steps, my memory is so fuzzy

I find my phone in the freezer 

I find my keys still in the front door

I can’t remember where I put my everyday items 

I can remember the trauma of being ripped 

From a home and placed into a new home

I can remember packing a bag just in case

I can remember needing to memorize a map

Or the way we drove just in case I would be moved again

I was under 6. 

Yet at 26 I can barely remember to take my medicine on time

I can’t find my computer, shoes or self. 
Trust me I have looked in my bedroom

My living room and of course the mirror.

Yet I keep coming up empty handed

Or I guess maybe blank memory

I can find my way around just fine

Unless you blind fold me and force me down

Then I am a dog who is kicked out of the back of a moving car

Forced to find a new family or survive on my own

I guess the thing about unwanted memories 

You have no choice in remembrance