For Memories

It's simply too much.

All this schoolin' is very very hard to remember.

How can you expect me to? I can hardly remember what I had last night for dinner

Streets and the like too. 

I walk my lil' mutt and ask, "Haven't we seen that hummingbird feeder before?"

She wags her tail.

No I can't remember what the lock combination was.

Quit asking. It was, like, 2 years ago when I used it last

Wait. 29 7 25. I remember we made a song out of it.

I know I forgot to bring something...

I know there was a homework assignment I was supposed to do...

I'll get it eventually.

New book in the series? Hold on, I gotta reread the old one.

Ever spend a whole day thinking of wonderful ideas for a book?

You'll forget 'em as soon as you find paper and a pen.

"Wow, you're really smart! Straight A's!"

...

I'm just a really good faker.

You see, I can memorize anything I please. 

So people mistake it for intelligence.

But it's really not.

Ask me to do the same test one week later, and I'll fail.

I guarantee it.

I'm just a really good pretender.

I pretend like I have talent.

I pretend like I'm not afraid.

But I am.

Afraid to forget who I am                           Afraid that who I am was a lie in the first place

I couldn't remember so I had to pretend.

Now all I can remember is pretending.

Because all I can do is fake myself, what if all I remember is fake too?

I can never be sure of anything.

I spend countless hours planning out scenarios of how situations could turn out.

It never goes the way I plan.

Those scenarios...what if they are replacing real memories?!

I think I'll wrote that theory down somewhere...

Lemme find a pen...

...

..

...

Got it.

What was I gonna write again? 

All I remember...is feeling very depressed...

Oh yeah...but I can't remember how it goes...

'Don't you hate it when you plan something out and forget everything the next moment?'

Hmmm

'Especially for me since my memory is so bad.'

'There's just too many obligations and expectations heaped on me...I need time to organize it.'

'If I could just store info away somewhere, I wouldn't have to worry.'

...

'I guess this paper is as good a place to start as any.'

Yeah

'But this isn't a diary entry or anything, OK?'

This is my...Poetry

Or at least I'll pretend it is