Memories of alcohol

Vodka burns my throat but your name scorched my mind So yes I rather blackout with a hangover Then stare blankly at my hands trying to forget what it felt like to touch you And nothing makes me happier than you And nothing makes me sadder than you Drinking for happiness To wallow in sadness For joy to find myself drowning in misery For strength and feel weak For stability to find an earthquake beneath my feet For courage to then fall from the sky pleading for it to end To feel heavenly And find myself in hell To forget You Your face, voice,name To only for get my own At 2 am taking 17 shots of vodka because it's hard to sleep playing tug or war with my mind and heart So i get drunk Not for the hell out of it But To num the hell out of it And once an on the verge of recovery You look at me Cross my mind Do something Sober or drunk your on my mind And it starts all over