Memories of Love and Pain

I look at you with memories flashing through my mind

Those days we used to smile and laugh

Those days we'd play on the slide

My mind shutters through the memories the one's you don't seem to remember

My mind pounds me with all the painful things you screamed at me

That day you left and packed your metephorical bags

 

Maybe if I could have come up with the right words to say

If I could have mustered up the courage to ask you to stay

Maybe you wouldn't have walked away

That dreadful summer day

 

Now I see you in the halls at school

You sometimes smile my way

You make polite little conversation

Don't you remember how we used to tell each other everything

Now we barely say anything past how have you been

Doesn't that tear you apart like it does me

 

Maybe it's best

Maybe it was meant to fall apart

It hurts more than any pain I've ever known

The words flash through my mind

I hear your voice inside

Those words they cut like knives in my vivid memory

 

Maybe if I told you how I really felt

Maybe if I screamed how much I truly care

Maybe if I told you I was so incredibly in love with you

Maybe you would have stayed

Would you have kissed me and said everything would be okay

Would you have moved my hair from my tear stained eyes

 

Your sweet lips I wanted to kiss

My brain was taken over by your beauty

My love for you anchored me down

I still love you even after all you said

Everytime I see you in the halls I remember that day you held my hand

You didn't mean anything by it, I know that but I felt my stomach rise

I felt like I could fly

Then you let go and I still felt your hand linger

 

I remember when we would play house when we were little

We didn't know that both of us being married was not supposed to happen

Not until your mom told us we couldn't play that way anymore

She told us we would get made fun of

We played in secret anyway

Do you not remeber the lingering hugs and how you looked in my eyes

Everytime we played that game you looked at me so intensly

 

Do you not remeber the time I told you I love you

You thought I was just being nice

You laughed it off and smiled a little

I looked down at the floor defeated

Do you not remember how I asked you to the dance

You smiled and told me yes

 

Do you not remember how you asked me to be your little experiment

To see if a kiss felt nice

You never kissed me but I wanted to so badly I melted from the thought

You told me you were kidding and I laughed at your joke

Inside I knew I was the punch line of everyone's inside joke

 

Do you not remember the night before we cuddled in your bed

We watched about a million movies as you played  with my hair

You held my hand and held me close like any couple would

You smiled at me like anyone who was in love would do

I knew I was in love with you

Were you scared to admit it

Is that why you left

 

Today I had the courage

The courage to tell you the truth

I ran up to you and kissed your lips

I told you I'm in love with you

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