Memory Lane

Mommy I took my first steps today,

You were smiling,

Under daddy’s arm giving kisses like you first met,

Only 16 with an older man,

He told you don’t worry there just love taps,

A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do,

I rode my first bike today,

Cherry red finish the same color as your lips, 

Cherry red finish the same color as your tongue,

Cherry red finish the same color as your husband’s hands after 3:30am,

Mommy I rode my first bike,

I thought you would never let go,

Let go like your giving your life to pills only to settle down,

But I know that’s not you,

Your an ion with one less electron,

Your an icon with one less election,

Your so natural you make your own selection,

Mommy I went to ride my bike today,

You were sleep,

Father didn’t care,

He never do,

He never cared about the scars on wrist when I wore a tank top,

Never cared about my fight with 5 other kids over my new Js,

Helen Keller was my name never knowing what it meant,

I went days with no food,

I went searching for a blessing,

Daddy’s been drinking all night,

He raised his right hand.. I think he’s answering my question just in time to teach you a lesson,

Mommy I rode my bike today,

I see you two made up,

Clothes everywhere... bed unmade,

I happy for you two,

Until I seen you at the tracks,

Breathless, 

God pulled you from a fight you had no business being in,

Mommy I didn’t ride my bike today, 

Daddy threw it away,

Said he’ll buy me a car,

Waited years for a 1972 Chevy box,

Cherry red finish the same color as his pale skin,

Cherry red finish the same color as my boiled blood letting go tears that couldn’t be held on to anymore,

I drove my first car today,

Daddy’s in the back,

Drowning in spirits that’s controlling his mind, 

Clear liquor in a mixed cup, 

All I see is white on white crime, 

I stared into the mirror until I had something positive to say,

The cover of the book does not tell the story of what’s inside,

You can turn pages all day but the words will never disappear,

Daddy... I’m not coming home today.