Mental Abuse

You say that I’ll never accomplish my goal You yell at me that I’ll never be anything but a disgrace And you know what maybe I never will fix the damage you made to my soul You putting me down on a daily basis telling me I’m a waste of space, A waste of your time and then telling me you love me and telling me you didn’t mean it That you only said everything because I provoked you because I wasn’t doing what I was told Even after so long I still feel everything that comes out of your mouth is bullshit You think you know what’s best for me me but I don’t fit into your silly little mold, The one that my siblings fit, hopefully they’ll be how you wanted me to be Hypocritical, judgemental and not so “reckless” and such a bitch like I’ve been my whole life According to you, I’ve told you as much as I can, as I can bare to do so but you don’t agree You want to know everything at once but how am I supposed to when your words cut like a knife And I should know the pain behind a knife after slitting my thighs and wrists for so long Watching blood flow and tears fall off my face, I stare in the mirror and remember what once was The innocent girl who wanted nothing but to be loved and was emotionally strong But physically weak, she had to become the opposite because Life knocked her over and over until she thought it was her own fault She thought about taking her own life just at the age of eight, her innocence was long gone. Her heart was damaged beyond repair and you will never know how difficult It is to live and hate yourself daily and cry until dawn But one day I will show you that I am better than you are or will ever be.