Mental Art Break Down

Location

10956
United States
41° 9' 37.5444" N, 73° 59' 41.1216" W

Blank and barren pages have been my eternal enemy
Hours tick by
The start of a new battle
Pencil and ink strike first
Blood flowing
Making me whole for just another moment
“You are no one!”
“Art will take you nowhere!”
“You are talentless!”
I stumble back
Struck by an overpowering fear
Harsh and painful weapons
Slice
Cut
And butcher my hopes and dreams
With each slash of the blade
My need to conquer the eternal and overwhelming enemy increases
I re enter
Fighting with a purpose beyond myself
Shapes gain form and space
Colors blast
Canons from my hands
Without a moment of hesitation or second thought
My room melts
Heat and friction restart my blaze
Hot as white embers
Watercolor
Ink
Graphite
Charcoal
Marker
Film
All mediums
Enter my hand changing effortlessly
My own personal and self influenced shield and blade
The enemy
Rearing back
Prepares an unseen and epic blow
Praying
This blow will end it
Final and long lasting
“You are not an artist!”
“Look at you; you’re a creep, a freak, and a stalker!”
“You’re a damn freak of nature!”
“Go crawl back into the hole in hell you were spawned from you inhuman waste of oxygen!”
Regaining my balance
Upon one knee
A sudden burst
Colors and memories
Long buried play back
Slow yet life shattering
Bystanders scream out
“Just give up for now.”
“Turn in.”
“It’s too late, just stop and try again tomorrow.”
Words hit me
Bringing my only support down
Fallen
Ever nerve
Every emotion
Every color
Blazes in an inferno
Giving in and wanting out
Heart racing
Eyes growing ever wide
Breathing turning to violent and uncontrollable
I lay the beast to rest
Same as the rest who tried
To stand before me
All remaining is a piece
My soul and heart
Laiding on a page
A battlefield
Brought to life by the death
Of the enemy
Proven to myself
Van Gogh
Dali
Da Vinci
Rapheal
Angelo
Mapplethorpe
Warren
Avedon
Mann
Eisenberg
Weston
Sherman
Picasso
Warhol
Adams
Arbus
Monet
Escher
Dahl
Daguerre
Ray
To those still in battle
To those still fighting
To those who have fallen
Reality is fully drawn
Leave your mark
Leave it for the world to see
Make it large and unforgettable
Even if it’s small
Be proud
Keep fighting
Stay inspired and pure
Art moves

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