Mental Insurrection

Welcome to my mental insurrection, Where I bring my imperfections into question, And interpret them as lessons. And that’s a blessing because when I’m stressing, I slip up and explode without any sense of direction or discretion, It’s like my emotions are submerged in a pool emitting effervescence, And in the pools reflection lays the silhouette of the moon curled into a supreme yellow crescent, The colors of the of the constellations in the night sky are blurred and iridescent, yet there is some depth to the moon’s luminescence, As I reminisce on the bliss of my adolescence I look forward to see a successful life and profession, Devoid of drugs, alcohol and weapons, and I beckon, I beckon…………….. but there is no response, And I hear a malicious voice as it cackles and taunts, For on the other side of a distant I can hear the voices of deceased relatives, Grandma, uncles and aunts and I thought, And regretted all the petty differences and burnt bridges I wrought, For I had been starving, but this meal of illumination---was much more than merely food for thought, It was a feast of transcendence, a buffet of enlightenment, I felt so in touch with the elements that I could touch lightning, But it was all shattered in a dark unrelenting silence, The vengeance and violence, The facades and disguises, I was almost at my destination, except in this instance I was a Kamikaze pilot, My crash was what initially led me to self corruption, I gave in to seduction because I was loveless, I sought love in every corridor and hall until I had traversed the inner sanctum of my own mental MENTAL asylum that once chained me to this meager existence, I approached a door in the distance and a key materialized in my hand, This key, became the key that one day will make me a MAN, Then my worries had become irrelevant, Because I saw my past relatives on the other side of the door, assuring me that love was always present Welcome to my mental insurrection, I am embroiled in conflict of my soul, Spirits and apparitions sully the plates and glasses of my emotions and in doing so assaulted my devotion, But with you all as my witness Its time to wash the dishes, Wash the dishes like grandma taught me back in 97 And even though she currently resides in the comforting arms of heaven, My desire and love for her has been channeled into anger loaded into the clip of a Mac 11, Because my fire to have her back burns more than immeasurable quantities of watts and kelvins, Because of the pain and loss in life, these kids from Compton and Watts are hell bent, Minds infatuated on destruction and bloodshed, And rags blue as the ocean and as crimson as blood red, It’s endless, It’s an unstable reaction concocted by the almighty chemist that produces enough caskets to fill up an entire chapter of Guinness, Shattered expectations plus a lack of motivation multiplied by indoctrination and divided until you reach equation that equivalent to a numerical Satan, If he even exists, After all I proclaim ignorance is bliss, So I chunk up my fists with handcuffs on my wrist and wish…. Wish like Walt Disney, Marijuana smoke populates the lungs of this community and alcohol caresses its kidneys, Cruz back when I was kiddy I used to believe in success and happily ever afters, Be it in a story book, word of mouth, or anticipation of the rapture, From revelation to prior chapters I am indulged by the Eurocentric words of wisdom and conviction, And especially in the case of King James, contradictions and old English diction that teach me to deduce that religion is fiction, And it aches; I felt every crack of my heart break as I was consumed by madness, Or as society would label “badness”, The desire to have a sublime life of crime until I am given metal bars to accommodate the rest of my heartbeat’s expiring time, It’s like an alarm, just tick tock and pop…..it’s over, So I pack black gats in knapsacks to leave once peaceful communities ransacked. Remember when Popeye said id be strong if I ate my spinach, So I listened with a mission but it didn’t make a difference, The big homier told me top be strong I had poke my chest out and walk around with a grimace and within minutes the OGs made me to a menace, Sock em in his jaw and send em to the dentist, Compton’s top chef boiling work up in the kitchen, Spas 12s on back shelves, AKs and Mac 12s, You might know about America, but I welcome you to black hell Terrorized the playground, run yo lunch pail. Started selling kool aid covered gummy bears now imp on to drug sales Middle fingers to the police screaming fuck police and fuck jail. 25 to life cuz he told the judge fuck yo gavel and fuck bail Coming up my cereal used to snap pop and crackle Now its stick ups for your trix steal your lucky charms and jack your apples, Back then it was park hooping, freeze tag and two handed tackles, Now niggas bust with two hands I know you hear them automatics rattle, Home is a war zone every walk to the house is a battle, Can’t park on certain streets or your whip will get dismantled Yeah these niggas is some vandals they got they hands up on them handles Cuz where I'm from you grab a gun or head to graduation with a tassel, But school is such a hassle and college. Aint no place for bastards, cuz if you try to make It there you’ll probably sooner find a casket, It’s tragic and it’s savage, cuz These streets is synonymous with havoc I’m from a city where they run up in yo hood and blast it, Then head to the funeral and put money in the your donation basket, Welcome to my mental insurrection, Where I have excavated the lost cavities of my mind rooted in confused, Buried by socio political institutions and fortified with ignorance and illusion, I have escaped the jungle in favor of civilization and systematically taken the red pill and escaped the matrix, broke the encasements, escaped the enslavement and in doing so started my road to greatness, higher education, national radio stations, and victories so close I can literally taste it, catch me on the front line, eradicating the racists, as I look in their faces, and words mean nothing because my life is my statement. I want to be a lawyer I want to be a doctor, Read these because my blood is my ink, And I feel a release when I write on the sheets, This is my story this is my pain, and all those who dare to say they know me think again, I came from Compton which hindered my progress, My dad came from the Jordan Downs, my vein run through the cracks of the projects, My ancestry survived the pain of enslavement, I’m on the road to success but my ancestors paved it. And though I used let shots bang like percussion, Vie moved on to acquire societal justice So my new gun is my pen which bleeds my soul, And my gang is the oppressed and we can’t take no more, Vie learned that the drive to succeed is within you And with hat being said…my saga continues I’m from the broken concrete streets of Compton, where gat click and cats hit licks for profit, but I left behind the lies and get rich quick schemes, Cuz now Lil Simmys got big dreams.