Mess

Its scribbled in my head Dripping with blood Mess That's what I am A girl my past self would not be proud of Me A liar A mess Constantly depressed And upset Cuts on my thighs Im always trying to hide Only known to a few Yet even they don't know My whole truth How much of a mess This loving girl Has become. Pasting on a smile Everyday Constantly acting okay When guilt and hate Pain and sadness has taken up residence On the inside Hidden Only coming out at night Making me cry And bleed myself dry. Love A dream I will never achieve Because who could ever love A girl like me Smile, always fake Laughter, never true Bruises in the mind Tears sucked dry Hope dissipated Happiness, never true Medicine never helps the only medicine that I can stand is painted on my legs Scarred in my mind Caught in my throat Crying And cutting Secretly dying But no one will ever See Because that is just me You pass me in the streets a smile on my face Ear buds plugging the world away You see me in your class Trying to do my best I'm the one you see at work Always asking about your day Lying when you ask about mine. Lies have taken over, I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm tired, I'm having a good day. But you'll never know You'll never see beyond this mask So cleverly sculpted to my face You will never see the true me Because if you did You would just run away. So I'll leave you with this: Oh yeah. Im okay im just stressed and tired. Its no biggie. You'll never know the true meaning of that phrase. And that is okay. If anything, it's better this way