Messages From My Alcoholic Mother

You don't know what you're talking about.
Stop acting like you're smart.
Those statistics are all lies.
You can't trust anyone.
Stop talking to people.
You have to keep it all a secret.
You don't know anything.
You're a child, you don't tell adults to stop drinking.
Yes, I drank that whole bottle today, but that's none of your business.
You're such an awful child!
I wish I aborted you!
Why can't you treat me with the respect I deserve?!
Why are you always studying?!
You can't do anything right!
Yeah, I took $200 out of your bank account, so what?
It was for rent, I needed it.
Why should I have to ask?
Just because you got that money from your job, doesn't mean it's your money.
You can't move out!
I won't allow it!
I have been nothing but a kind and caring mother to you, you can't leave!
Goodbye.
...
Could I borrow some money?
You closed your bank account, so I can't take any from there.
I promise I won't use it on alcohol.
...
Can I have more money?
I have to pay rent, do you not have any sympathy?!
You're so selfish!
How could you leave me behind to rot?!
...
I'm going to AA meetings now.
I'm getting better.
I'm so sorry.
...
Congrats on getting into your dream college!
...
I'm sorry you can't go to your dream college.
I would help you pay for college, but I have to focus on myself right now.
I know that college meant everything to you, and I'm sorry, but I have to come first right now.
...
Your Dad took your brothers.
They didn't feel safe with me.
I feel like the worst mother ever.
...
Congratulations on graduating!
I'm so proud of you!
...
You're moving in with your grandparents?!
But they live on the other side of the country?!
You'll never be able to succeed there.
...
Congrats on getting that job, I knew you could do it!
You're a private lesson teacher too?!
And a tutor?!
I never knew you were that smart!
...
You're finally starting college, thank goodness.
I never thought you'd start.
I would help you pay for community college, but I've got to focus on myself.
I know it's been a year since you graduated, but I'm still not in a good place.
I can't afford to help you or your brothers.
...
Your Dad quit his job.
Again.
And one of your little brothers had to go to the hospital.
He was having a seizure caused by his diabetes.
I took everyone off my insurance, and your Dad doesn't have any insurance so he has to pay out of pocket.
No, I'm not going to put any of you back on my insurance, I have to look after myself.
Don't you dare call me selfish!
I'm doing this so I can get better!
Just try not to get hurt.
Or if you do get hurt, get hurt enough so that you'll just die.
Then you wouldn't even have to worry about how much it costs.

-I grew up when I realized my parents haven't grown up yet. My parents have abandoned me, but I will not abandon my future.-

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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