Messing Up

I was on this stage not that long ago

with less people 

Yet suddenly their are thousands of more people

It feels like I´ve been here for 80 years

I am such a mess

so nervous I can´t remember what I´m supposed to do

my legs aren´t working

I could fall any second now

the audience looks so judgemental, and cruel

pointing, chatting, laughing, recording

I was so confident 

until I looked into the endless ocean of the crowd

I tried to ignore it

But all I could think of 

was every one of my haters remarks

and all I could think of 

was when will this end 

when can I get off this stage

and hide

but I couldn´t run 

so I couldn´t hide

I had stayed and 

all the haters remarks 

turned into distant echoes

and thats when everyone started cheering

while I was just doing the best I could

under pressure, pressure

words all around

but there's no silence, silence

makes me wanna run

but they say I´m great

great

whispers all around 

but I won´t hear them 

for I am simply for gramps

too busy doing all I can 

to not mess up

for messing up is awful