The Metamorphosis

Imagine the one person you run to with any situation, knowing she will consistently support your every move with her arms wide open. Imagine the one person who stands stolidly and strong, like a knight in shining armor, embodying the definition of inner strength. Now imagine that person being taken away from you, leaving you defenseless. 

My mom was diagnosed when I was eight years old; I barely remember having a stable relationship with her, because we constantly battled this emotional rollercoaster of a disease. Driving hours for strange chemo treatments, listening to anxiety-ridden doctor consultations, sitting in waiting rooms agonizingly anticipating news that she had survived yet another hazardous procedure all became routine. The looks of pity and halfheartedly hopeful tones of doctors’ voices were enough to make anyone break down. When asked her motivation to continue fighting, my name would be her immediate answer. 

My mother was battling Leiomyosarcoma, most often a terminal cancer. LMS is an extreme rarity that infects body tissues, affecting four in every million people. Most oncologists have never treated or heard of this abominable disease; medical science has yet to find a cure. My mom never allowed this disease to control her life. Serving as my Girl Scout leader for eight years, coordinating countless cancer fundraisers, winning numerous Courage Awards, and documenting her tedious struggle in emails which were forwarded around the world, my mother was a well-known source of inspiration and hope for hundreds of people. Supporting my mom during this entire battle allowed me to learn from her – her strength began to manifest in me. I learned how to persevere such a monumental challenge.

Unfortunately, on Good Friday 2007, I witnessed her battle with this inexorable disease reach its nadir, leaving her too weak to continue fighting. However, this is no story of tragedy; this is a story of courage and metamorphosis. The night of her death, I was asked to sift through her belongings - this moment still brings chills to my skin. I came upon her purse; I reached into the pocket and pulled out a tattered yellowed fortune reading: “You are heading for a land of sunshine and relaxation.” I was comforted to believe this was where she was going.

Years later, I had been blessed with the opportunity to travel to California and visit her brother, which duplicated the trip she had taken many years prior. The last night of my trip, my uncle and I went to a Chinese restaurant my mom and he had gone to. Sharing stories about her, I couldn’t help but envision my mom sitting at the empty seat at the table. After the meal, the waitress presented two fortune cookies to us.  I opened my cookie, and read a single sentence: “You are heading for a land of sunshine and relaxation.” I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Reading that sliver of paper was tangible evidence everything happens for a reason. I now cherish each moment and hardship, and grow from each experience. With her omnipresence in my life, I exemplify my mother’s unique outlook on life, and hope to influence others as much as she had influenced me.