To Micah

You say that you don't know why people look up to you,

But you're my role model and older brother.

You accepted me, and made me feel like I can do whatever I try to do.

Even though we aren't related, and only met my freshman year,

I cried when you left.

I kept coming to school because I could see you every morning and afternoon.

And talk to you, text you after the day.

I could hug you, and talk to you, and explain things that I can't explain to myself;

Because you listen, and help me get through and understand.

Part of me was sad that you were leaving,

But the other wanted you to go start your life as an adult.

Crap. You're an adult.

And I was this little freshman who is still just starting life.

I remember thinking:

It's going to be weird next year, but I'll manage.

And I did

I write to you in my journal when I need to let things out,

Because it's easier to write to someone I can see,

Rather than to an inanimate object.

It's been so long since we've seen each other

And life hasn't been so kind.

I had nightmares, and I can't imagine how it all affected you

It still amazes me that you're alive

I prayed to a God I don't even believe in for the first time and it came through.

Promise me you won't hide it all away

You have to promise that you'll let people help you

Because you are worth it.